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  • Writer's pictureNicole Firestone

The Hymen

Updated: Apr 5, 2018

How does one define a woman's virginity? Although this answer differs from person to person, historically, many cultures, religions, and communities have defined a woman's virginity by the "intactness" of her hymen.


For those who have never been exposed to this term before, the "hymen" refers to the thin membrane that surrounds the vaginal opening. This membrane can take on a variety of different shapes based on the woman herself; the hymen can have a very small opening, a "honeycomb" of small openings, a rather large natural opening, or a sort of "ladder-like" series of openings, and very rarely completely covers the entire vaginal opening (which would obstruct menstruation).


In many cultures, religions, and communities, virginity is considered to be sacred and desirable. But (speaking in terms of heterosexual relationships) how is one supposed to know for sure if his partner is truly a virgin? In very many of these groups, this determination is made by whether or not the woman bleeds after engaging in sexual intercourse. In some cultures, the man is expected to present a blood-stained sheet on the night of his wedding as proof that his wife has lost her virginity. While in come communities, hymen inspections are held in schools if girls were suspected of engaging in premarital sex.  These perceptions and the practices that surround them are hinged on the belief that the loss of a woman’s virginity is characterized the “breaking” of her hymen.


It is said that when I woman has sexual intercourse for the first time, the hymen will stretch and tear, causing her to bleed. Although some women do experience a tearing of this membrane and the resulting bleeding, very many women do not due to the unique and varied structures of their individual hymens.  In addition, poorly lubricated, rushed intercourse has the potential to cause non-hymen related bleeding as it can abrade sensitive vaginal tissue. Though, despite these truths, post-sex bleeding and hymen inspections continue to be used as tests for virginity in the bedroom and in work environment situations.


Such tests have become so impactful that woman all over the globe have created methods for “proving” their virginity.  The most striking example is a surgical procedure referred to as hymenoplasty, hymenorrhaphy, or “virginity reconstruction” surgery. Such procedures, though not available as typical gynecological practice, are available at plastic surgery centers in the United States, the Middle East, South Korea, and Western Europe.  In addition to hymenoplasty, there are also virginity mimicking devices. According to one device’s product description, once inserted it “will expand a little and make you feel tight. When your lover penetrate[s], it will ooze out a liquid that look[s] like blood not too much but just the right amount. Add in a few moans and groans, you will pass through undetectable.” There are also many "do-it-yourself" virginity mimicking methods.


(NOTE: None of the opinions mentioned in this video or the comments are necessarily congruent with those of the author of this post.)


Some women find virginity testing to be humiliating, objectifying, and borderline sexual assault, while other women find these tests to be helpful because they put virgin women in a better position where they are taught to respect themselves and receive respect from others. Though, in any situation, hymen inspections are far from a valid test for virginity, and the truth is, there is no way to truly test for virginity for men and women alike.  






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